THE NAME: HAVE PUN WITH IT

When people ask me about the name I’m tempted to just say, “it doesn’t mean anything” or “you obviously don’t get it.” But when I once tried to explain it to my (ex)boyfriend – the most innocently non-horse person I know – it actually made a lot of sense. I explained it in pieces.

Traditionally one would say, “back on course.” That would be a good thing, you made it back to the ring and you are presumably headed in the right direction. This phrase was a tempting choice, but it really has only one meaning.  “Off course” has a whole different meaning and set of consequences.

First, it means you were headed in the right direction, but you got lost. It’s usually an innocent mistake, but it still makes you angry. I can remember vividly almost every instance in the last 15 years when I’ve gone off course. Once I was putting down the perfect Medal round on a borrowed horse when we just perfectly found our way to the wrong black and white vertical…so much for qualifying that day.  This mistake sticks with us because when you go off course you waste a small part of your day, a decent bit of money, and what could have been a good experience on a hugely stupid mistake. And in a lot of ways the issues I write about are similar; because they are, so to speak, off course.

But then again, “off course” really only has one meaning too. And that’s when I added the first part of the name: “back”. I think this small word is the most important. This word should indicate that this is a thing that is back from something.  In a lot of ways, I am back. I left New Jersey and the show world that I grew up in when I moved to Auburn for four years. My mom lost her farm, I lost a lot of my horses, and for a moment I thought I would never really come back. And then I went to law school. I was buried in studying and anxiety for four years and I graduated with a pile of debt and the feeling like I needed to get back to the things I loved. I eventually acquired more horses, Moose and Zoë. I got the job I wanted, and I had accomplished something I worked for my whole life. But I needed to re-connect with who I was before that colossal adventure began. 

So I came back, but life is not exactly on course like I expected it to be. I think most people would agree that our lives rarely go in a way that we would consider “on course”. Life takes all kinds of twists and turns, things happen, people change, the world around us changes, and we have to improvise and go forward, get back in the ring and try again. Keep coming “back” even if you keep going off course.“Back off course” also kind of sounds like “back of course”. The words should make you think of both phrases and both meanings because both are relevant. 

Here’s where he got cute. “If off course is bad, why would you want to come back to it?” Good question. The answer is you don’t.  The phrase should give you a sense of repetition of a bad thing. Back off course, again? Really? Yes, really. How many times are these issues going to come up, how many times are we going to be headed in the wrong direction, how many times is there going to be a person suspended for drugging their horses, or a woman treated unfairly, or a horse being mistreated? How many times does the world need to go through these things before someone realizes they are off course, and they find the right way? I hope when someone reads this title in conjunction with some of my articles this message will come across. 

Finally, there is the fact that you can’t say “back off course” without saying “back off,” a non-horsey phrase for my non-horsey friends.  Everyone can relate to what that means. And it reminds me of a phrase and sentiment Justice Ginsburg (my hero, inspiration, and fairy godmother) used when arguing benchmark gender discrimination cases in front of the Supreme Court, when she said something like we do not ask men for special treatment, "all we ask is that they take their feet off our necks." Borrowed from the suffragist, Sarah Grimke, (and chronicled in this book everyone should read) to me, this phrase epitomizes equality for women, or anyone really. Remove the "protections." Let us make our own choices. Back off.